What’s Your Real Story?

I’ve been hearing a lot about stories lately. I’m fortunate to know several published authors each of whom has shared part of her transformational story for the benefit of others. Several card readings of late have had messages about our stories and how we tell them and asking that we change our stories.  Change our stories? How do you do that, I wondered. Isn’t our story already written – at least the past chapters? How do you rewrite those?

Let me share one of mine with you.

I am the oldest of seven children and was the “little mother” for my siblings. I was mother’s helper in some of my earliest memories.  This was back in the day before disposable diapers and as a 4 or 5 year old, I knew how to get the diapers out the dryer and fold them. You get the picture.

I have memories of adults coming to visit and exclaiming over all the cute little girls (I mostly have younger sisters – 5 of them in fact). And they were. In my memories, these little ones got all the attention and somehow, the story became that I wasn’t cute enough, or worthy of receiving attention the way they did. I slid into the background while they got the spotlight.

For most of my life, I have been in the background. I worked behind the scenes in my non-profit work, developing the programs, managing the programs, and letting the staff I hired shine for all their brilliance. Even when I received awards, I was only present for one. Somehow, I was never in town on the day of the award ceremony. 

I don’t know when or how, but this translated into my belief of not being worthy. No matter how I worked or what I did, there was always someone else who garnered the attention. I even gave it away at times. 

A few months ago, as part of my own personal journey, as I was learning about my (Human Design) Projector self, it suddenly dawned on me that I have been looking at this all wrong. For. All. Of. My. Life. 

For those who don’t know Human Design, my type is one that needs quiet, respite, breaks, and I crave alone time. I am never lonely. It is this quiet time where I can regroup, ideas can download and my creativity soars.  In my memories, I also see me off on my own, a book in hand, or drawing, away from the noise. I never look unhappy in those images. Rather, I am quietly focused on something I enjoy. This child knew what she needed and grabbed it whenever she could so that when the time came to get back into the mother’s helper role, she was able.

Now when I look at those memories, I see none of it had to do anything with worthiness. I relished the visits from people to our house because I could get away. My preservation requires it and that has nothing to do with worthiness. And now, my story has changed from one of limiting beliefs to one of strength. It feels so much lighter.

When I ask you how do you tell your story, I am asking you to go into that memory and look at it with fresh eyes. What do you see? What is another way to look at it from the one you’ve told for so long? A story of victimhood can become a story of strength and survival. When the old story fades away and is replaced with a more powerful story of transformation, you change the trajectory of your future. You change how you live in the present. Your attitude and mindset has shifted.

What is your real story? Is it the one you hold on to or is there a truer one waiting inside for your to find it and tell it.

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