Say Good-bye to Zelda

A few years ago, I retired from full time work in the non-profit world and needed something to do in this phase of my journey. I jumped into entrepreneurship, unplanned, impulsive, leaning into my talents and skills.  Not the smartest way to go about it, but that is a whole other blog.

As part of this new life, I joined an international network of women entrepreneurs, becoming active in our local chapter, connecting with other women, all of whom breathed success. This was pre-pandemic, so we were able to meet in person on a monthly basis, and they were quick to welcome me.  I marveled at this group of women, how each one was living her dream. So many shed the trappings of corporate life to run their own lives. Each one was working towards creating a fulfilling life for herself and her family. 

I wanted to be like them. I watched how supportive everyone was to each other. I came to understand the idea of collaboration in this world which was so unlike the forced collaboration of the non-profit world where funders tell you that you will collaborate even when it makes no sense. Here, collaboration had a totally different view – women working together to enhance each other’s business, building partnerships to grow and serve, finding common ground to success.

During the pandemic, we all turned more to social media and Zoom, pivoting to remain connected in a highly unusual time. For me as an introvert, it was welcomed as I got to slowly learn more about these sisters, and actually build friendships individually that might not have been built otherwise.  I especially loved that I met and connected with women across the US and Canada.

My interests grew and I entered the world of heart centered entrepreneurs, where the work we do is for the higher good of those we serve. Even though I had taken my helping side and put her on a shelf (no she’s not Zelda), she kept jumping off the shelf over the past two years.  I decided to finally listen to her and found the realm of oracle card reading. I find it fascinating and spiritual. Each reading I have done, whether for myself or others, has either led to some food for thought or confirms something already known. Card reading allows me to be helpful to women, raising awareness and insight that often leads to change for the better.

This service has helped me gain insights into women and what we carry around inside us.  I have learned that every single one of us wildly successful, wonderful caring and thoughtful women all carry a nagging voice inside of us that likes to rear her meanness every so often.  Just when we feel we are doing well, she appears to increase our self-doubt, making us feel like we are not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, deserving. She is the proverbial mean girl who bullies us into being insecure. Sometimes she is quite successful and she derails us. The worst part is we let her. She is quite powerful. 

At the full moon, the readings often identify something that we need to release that no longer serves us. This past full moon, I thought about “her” and how I could release her. Then, it hit me. What if I personified her, named her, and this way, when she showed up, I could simply tell her where she could go.

I could tell her to go away, that she has no hold on me.

I could tell her that her perspective was not valid any longer.

I could tell her that I was the authority on me and knew better than she did.

I talked to my granddaughter about this and she understood the whole mean girl concept.  She and I tried on different names and crystallized mean girl behaviors. We talked about being strong enough to not let mean girls influence us. Then, the name came to me.

My inner, nagging, unwelcomed voice is named Zelda.

Now when Zelda comes forward, I can tell her that she may have been helpful to me once, but it was time to end our relationship. When she returns, I can tell her to go away, I am just too busy to entertain her.  When she persists, and there will be times she will, I can look her in the eye and thank her for her service, but it is time for her to leave and send her off in a journey to oblivion.

This will be one of my goals in 2022 – release Zelda’s hold on my doubts and insecurities, so that I can attain what I want.  She no longer serves my highest good. She will become weaker and weaker in 2022. Will she ever go away completely? Maybe not. One thing though, is Zelda’s game is over, her dance steps are changing. 

Who is your Zelda? Let’s send them off to a corner in the universe where they can no longer do any damage. We can build a high fence to keep them in, complete with a locked gate. Or maybe it needs to be a soundproof room.

Where will you send your Zelda in 2022? And won’t it feel great to be free?